Some Great Tweets !!

·         Any chance of Rahul Gandhi entering the cabinet? Isn’t it time Sonia did some beta testing?
 

·         Maybe Yeddy could be sent to Kashmir. In a few years, all the land will belong to his family, and all problems will be solved.
 

·         Business Idea: Face book Holidays. Where you don’t really go anywhere, but we create lots of photos for you to share.
 

·         100 phones tapped each day per operator. Finally we have a government that listens to us.
 

·          Vote for Baba Ramdev. He’ll be the PM who can help you make your ends meet. Your head and toe, that is. 

·         Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance. They can call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD, for short.  

·         Kalmadi’s aide is in jail. Raja’s aide is dead. Satish Sharma denies ever having an aide. India seems quite serious about eradicating Aides.  

·         Police Manual: if it’s one guy, take a bribe. If it’s a couple, harass. If it’s a bunch of people, lathi charge. If it’s a mob, disappear. 

·         According to Census 2011, there are 940 females for every 1000 males in India. Those 60 unfortunate men join the Ram Sena, I guess. 

·         Dear Baba Ramdev, we can’t ban 1000 & 500 rupee notes. We are a secular country. So we need to respect all denominations. 

·         Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense. Other days, he is silent. 

·         Two weapons against corruption: Lokpal and Chappal. 

·         A documentary on Air India’s planes – Saare Zameen Par. 

·         I really don’t understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem. Chemically speaking, it’s a solution. 

·         Since 1977, West Bengal has been crawling along at approximately 0.00000000001 kmph. They’ve just covered 3 CMs in 34 years. 

·         If P&G buys Unilever, the unified entity can be called Procter and Gamble and Lever. Abbreviated to PaGaL.

·         Gandhi would have been a great bowler. He could spin as well as fast. 

·         Baba Ramdev is going to create an army with a headcount of 11,000. Or a leg-count of 22,000. Depending on which side is up. 

·         Three generations of Bachchans – BigB, WannaB, and now BayB. 

·         25-paise coins to go off circulation from Jun 30. The govt feels they can’t handle one Anna, so there’s no need for four. 

·         Every night families in rural U.P. must be shuddering in anticipation of Rahul Gandhi piling on to their dinner and whacking their charpai. 

·         I think Manmohan should get VVS Laxman into the cabinet. The UPA is in major trouble in its second innings. 

·         Kalmadi: So what are you here for?
Anna: Jan Lokpal bill. And you?
Kalmadi: Er… video bill, sponsorship bill, catering bill, etc. 

·         All MPs to get iPads. Awesome. As Om Puri would say, from anPad to iPad in 3 days. 

·         It’s been a pretty decent tour for India. We beat three teams – Sussex, Kent & Leicestershire. And lost to only one – England. 

·         The word “Engineer” is derived from “Anjaneyar” (or Hanuman), who built a bridge and didn’t hang around with girls. 

·         Bangalore may have a nice past. And a great future. But there’s no current. 

·         Infosys: More profits means great quarter.  UB: More quarters means great profit. 

·         BJP guy gives 500 rupee notes to journalists for +ve Rath Yatra coverage. He must have heard that a good reporter always takes notes. 

·         Anna Hazare breaks vow of silence. So Manmohan Singh wins this one. 

·         Think of the tiger. Think of hockey. Now you get it? The real problem with the rupee is that it is the national currency of India. 

·         PM says India and China are good friends. Of course we are. We have so much in common. Like Arunachal Pradesh. 

·         What? Russia has banned the Gita? We should immediately retaliate by banning “Problems in General Physics” by Irodov.