A healthy man is a successful man.
French Proverb
A hedge between keeps friendship green.
French Proverb
A hen is heavy when carried far.
Irish Proverb
A hound's food is in its legs.
Irish Proverb
A hungry man is an angry man.
English Proverb
A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on.
French Proverb
A little too late, is much too late.
German Proverb
A lock is better than suspicion.
Irish Proverb
A man does not seek his luck, luck seeks its man.
Turkish Proverb
A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal.
Yiddish Proverb
A man may well bring a horse to the water, but he cannot make him drink.
John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity.
Yiddish Proverb
A monkey never thinks her baby's ugly.
Haitian Proverb
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners.
Irish Proverb
Friday, June 24, 2005
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Proverbs from Around the World - I
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket.
Arab Proverb
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush.
English Proverb
A broken hand works, but not a broken heart.
Persian Proverb
A cat has nine lives.
Proverb of Unknown Origin
A closed mouth catches no flies.
Italian Proverb
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
German Proverb
A courtyard common to all will be swept by none.
Chinese Proverb
A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master.
Russian Proverb
A drink precedes a story.
Irish Proverb
A drowning man is not troubled by rain.
Persian Proverb
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.
William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
A forest is in an acorn.
Proverb of Unknown Origin
A friend in need is a friend indeed
English Proverb
A friend's eye is a good mirror.
Irish Proverb
A good denial, the best point in law
Irish Proverb
A good husband is healthy and absent.
Japanese Proverb
A hard beginning maketh a good ending.
John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
Arab Proverb
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush.
English Proverb
A broken hand works, but not a broken heart.
Persian Proverb
A cat has nine lives.
Proverb of Unknown Origin
A closed mouth catches no flies.
Italian Proverb
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.
German Proverb
A courtyard common to all will be swept by none.
Chinese Proverb
A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master.
Russian Proverb
A drink precedes a story.
Irish Proverb
A drowning man is not troubled by rain.
Persian Proverb
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.
William Blake "Proverbs of Hell" (1790)
A forest is in an acorn.
Proverb of Unknown Origin
A friend in need is a friend indeed
English Proverb
A friend's eye is a good mirror.
Irish Proverb
A good denial, the best point in law
Irish Proverb
A good husband is healthy and absent.
Japanese Proverb
A hard beginning maketh a good ending.
John Heywood "The Proverbs of John Heywood" (1546)
The game of Cricket
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's in goes out and tries to get out those coming in. Sometimes there are men still in and not out.
There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and out including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Simple!
There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and out including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!
Simple!
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Writing a Tech Spec - remember this...
Think of this next time you are writing a spec.
The US Standard railroad gauge is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts?
The initial ruts, (which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons) were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot.
Specs and Bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's brain came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
Now the twist to the story....
There's an interesting extension of the story about railroad gauge and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main Fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line to the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So we now see that a major design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined by the width of a horse!
Update : One of the readers wrote back to inform that like many other spicy stories floating around the net, this one too is just a story and not the truth. Check out the following links for the real story
http://truthorfiction.com/rumors/r/railwidth.htm http://www.snopes.com/history/american/gauge.htm
Many Thanks Rip for the info !
The US Standard railroad gauge is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.
Why did the English people build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts?
The initial ruts, (which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons) were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot.
Specs and Bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's brain came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
Now the twist to the story....
There's an interesting extension of the story about railroad gauge and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main Fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line to the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So we now see that a major design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined by the width of a horse!
Update : One of the readers wrote back to inform that like many other spicy stories floating around the net, this one too is just a story and not the truth. Check out the following links for the real story
http://truthorfiction.com/rumors/r/railwidth.htm http://www.snopes.com/history/american/gauge.htm
Many Thanks Rip for the info !
AMERICANISM
U don't open a telephone conversation with a HELLO but with a "Hi"
The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".
U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".
U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".
U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.
U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".
U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".
Your tire never "punctures", U may have a "flat".
The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' no more but "carriages" or "boxes".
There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".
U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy
U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb, rather flick it up.
There's no "Business Area" only "business districts", and no "districts" but "counties".
No one stays "a stone's throw away", might"a few blocks away".
There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".
In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque", rather ask for "check" and pay with (Dollar) "bill"s.
There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".
Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".
U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".
U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off".
Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them.
U no longer live in "flats" or "blocks", find an "apartment".
U don't stand in a "queue", you are in a "line".
U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.
"#" is not "hash", it's "pound".
U R not "deaf", U have "impaired hearing".
U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged".
U R not "disgusting" U R "sick".
U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".
U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.
U never "joke", U just "kid".
U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.
U never ask for a pencil "rubber" U ask for an eraser. a rubber is a condom
U don't try to find a lift U find an elevator.
U no more ask for a route but for a "RAUT"
U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?"
U never go to see a game U go to watch a game.
If U see "World" champions(or Series),read "USA"champions(or Series).
There's no "zero" but "o", no "Z" but "zee".
There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.
If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".
You don't say "How do you do", you say "How you doin"
In short U don't speak English, U speak American.
Well u dont' say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!
The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".
U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".
U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".
U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" no.
U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".
U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".
Your tire never "punctures", U may have a "flat".
The trains have "coaches" or "boggies' no more but "carriages" or "boxes".
There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".
U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool" guy
U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb, rather flick it up.
There's no "Business Area" only "business districts", and no "districts" but "counties".
No one stays "a stone's throw away", might"a few blocks away".
There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".
In hotel U no longer ask for "bill" and pay by "cheque", rather ask for "check" and pay with (Dollar) "bill"s.
There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".
Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".
U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".
U don't "sweat it out", U "work U'r butt off".
Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them.
U no longer live in "flats" or "blocks", find an "apartment".
U don't stand in a "queue", you are in a "line".
U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.
"#" is not "hash", it's "pound".
U R not "deaf", U have "impaired hearing".
U R not "lunatic", U are just "mentally challenged".
U R not "disgusting" U R "sick".
U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".
U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.
U never "joke", U just "kid".
U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.
U never ask for a pencil "rubber" U ask for an eraser. a rubber is a condom
U don't try to find a lift U find an elevator.
U no more ask for a route but for a "RAUT"
U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?"
U never go to see a game U go to watch a game.
If U see "World" champions(or Series),read "USA"champions(or Series).
There's no "zero" but "o", no "Z" but "zee".
There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.
If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".
You don't say "How do you do", you say "How you doin"
In short U don't speak English, U speak American.
Well u dont' say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!
Friday, June 17, 2005
Feedback from the Boss
The following feedback was given by a Project Leader about his subordinate -
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
SD - Project Leader
The below memo was soon sent following the letter:
That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 for my true assessment of him.
Regards, SD-Project Leader
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
sent away as soon as possible.
SD - Project Leader
The below memo was soon sent following the letter:
That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13 for my true assessment of him.
Regards, SD-Project Leader
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The Legend of Marmaris
Once upon a time in Marmaris, somewhere in the southern coast of Turkey, a fisherman and the daughter of a King fell in love. However, like all of us know, the love between a fisherman and a princess simply would not get the blessings of her father. Because of this, they would meet secretly at nights. But the old King soon learnt about his daughter's nocturnal trysts.
One night, he asked his soldiers to follow her. The soldiers returned and informed the King that every night the princess would leave the palace and go to a small bay out of town. She would signal to the fisherman at the other end of the bay by flashing a light and he would come to that light to find her.
The King then ordered his soldiers to set a trap. They followed the princess, caught her and flashed a light to entice the fisherman. The princess managed to escape from the soldiers and ran as fast as she could to warn her lover. She realized though that it would not be possible to reach the fisherman if she were to run along the beach, so she thought she would swim. A miracle happened. Wherever she stepped into the sea, the water turned into sand; and the sand turned back into water whenever the soldiers followed her. But, as she was reaching her lover, a soldier's arrow meant for the fisherman struck her, killing her instantly.
The people of Marmaris say that when the blood of the princess got mixed with the sea water, it changed the color of the sand.
A son's letter
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center ofthe bed.
It was addressed, "Dad"
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motor cycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of fire wood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in the center drawer of mydesk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
It was addressed, "Dad"
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motor cycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of fire wood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in the center drawer of mydesk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Honouring the Geneva Convention
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy O'Hara up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next-door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes eight!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have a million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorrah!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy that I have sixteen thousand tanks, fourteen thousand armoured personnel carriers, and my army has increased to two million men since we last spoke."
"Bloody hell!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "We've had a look at the Geneva Convention, all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy O'Hara up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next-door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes eight!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have a million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorrah!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy that I have sixteen thousand tanks, fourteen thousand armoured personnel carriers, and my army has increased to two million men since we last spoke."
"Bloody hell!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "We've had a look at the Geneva Convention, all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Complete this picture
Looks like some one ripped this picture apart and threw the pieces. Why don't you try your hand at this one and join the pieces to make the complete picture.
Click on the title above to try.
Click on the title above to try.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Some funny Airline Announcements
# Lufthansa Airlines
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain :"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane after this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request.
Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement:"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You For Flying Lufthansa- ".
# British Airways
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
# Delta Airlines
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.
"So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke " Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain :"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane after this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request.
Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement:"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You For Flying Lufthansa- ".
# British Airways
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message."
# Delta Airlines
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.
"So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke " Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
Test your mental health
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized.
Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
..Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose thebucket as it is larger than the spoon."
No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
..Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose thebucket as it is larger than the spoon."
No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."
Friday, June 03, 2005
The Myth about Error 404
The following story is doing the rounds of the web providing explanation as to why the error code for “File not found” is 404 and not anything else.
Why "404 - Page Not Found" ? - Why not "808 - Page Not Found" ?
The history of 404 : Before the beginning of time, when the Internet was still very much under the spell of bare Unix shells and Gopher, before SLIP or PPP became widely used, an ambitious group of young scientists at CERN (Switzerland) started working on what was to become the media revolution of the nineties: the World Wide Web, later to be known as WWW, or simply 'the Web'. Their aim : to create a database infrastructure that offered open access to data in various formats: multi-media. The ultimate goal was clearly to create a protocol that would combine text and pictures and present it as one document, and allow linking to other such documents: hypertext. Because these bright young minds were reluctant to reveal their progress (and setbacks) to the world, they started developing their protocol in a closed environment : CERN's internal network. Many hours were spend on what later became the world-wide standard for multimedia documents. Using the physical lay-out of CERN's network and buildings as a metaphor for the 'real world' they situated different functions of the protocol in different offices within CERN.
In an office on the fourth floor (room 404), they placed the World Wide Web's central database: any request for a file was routed to that office, where two or three people would manually locate the requested files and transfer them, over the network, to the person who made that request. When the database started to grow, and the people at CERN realized that they were able to retrieve documents other than their own research-papers, not only the number of requests grew, but also the number of requests that could not be fulfilled, usually because the person who requested a file typed in the wrong name for that file. Soon these faulty requests were answered with a standard message : Room 404: file not found".
Later, when these processes were automated and people could directly query the database, the messageID's for error messages remained linked to the physical location the process took place: "404: file not found".The room numbers remained in the error codes in the official release of HTTP (Hyper Text Transfer Protocol) when the Web left CERN to conquer the world, and are still displayed when a browser makes a faulty request to a Web server.
In memory of the heroic boys and girls that worked deep into the night for all those months, in those small and hot offices at CERN, Room 404 is preserved as a 'place on the Web'. None of the other rooms are still used for the Web. Room 404 is the only and true monument to the beginning of the Web, a tribute to a place in the past, where the future was shaped.
But it seems that this is just a made up story - a Myth. The 404 Research lab claims that –
"Having visited CERN myself, I can tell you that Room 404 is not on the fourth floor - the CERN office numbering system doesn't work like that - the first digit usually refers to the *building* number (ie. building 4), and the second two to the office number. But, strangely, there is no room "04" in building "4", the offices start at "410" and work upwards - don't ask me why. Sorry to disappoint you all, but there is no Room 404 in CERN - it simply doesn't exist, and certainly hasn't been preserved as "the place where the web began". In fact, there *is* a display about this, including a model of the first NeXT server, but the whole "Room 404" thing is just a myth."
This site links to a site Room 404 which I could not access because true to its name it gave me an Error 404. There is lot of such juicy stuff floating around on the web, which is nothing but misinformation. It is advisable to take such stories with a pinch of salt instead of accepting them on face value.
If possible, the best approach would be to go one step further and do a bit of research on it yourself. While you are on the net, it will just take a few minutes to actually carry out a few searches on Google and Answers.com and find out the truth. Otherwise you run the risk of being fed with lot of misinformation.
Why "404 - Page Not Found" ? - Why not "808 - Page Not Found" ?
The history of 404 : Before the beginning of time, when the Internet was still very much under the spell of bare Unix shells and Gopher, before SLIP or PPP became widely used, an ambitious group of young scientists at CERN (Switzerland) started working on what was to become the media revolution of the nineties: the World Wide Web, later to be known as WWW, or simply 'the Web'. Their aim : to create a database infrastructure that offered open access to data in various formats: multi-media. The ultimate goal was clearly to create a protocol that would combine text and pictures and present it as one document, and allow linking to other such documents: hypertext. Because these bright young minds were reluctant to reveal their progress (and setbacks) to the world, they started developing their protocol in a closed environment : CERN's internal network. Many hours were spend on what later became the world-wide standard for multimedia documents. Using the physical lay-out of CERN's network and buildings as a metaphor for the 'real world' they situated different functions of the protocol in different offices within CERN.
In an office on the fourth floor (room 404), they placed the World Wide Web's central database: any request for a file was routed to that office, where two or three people would manually locate the requested files and transfer them, over the network, to the person who made that request. When the database started to grow, and the people at CERN realized that they were able to retrieve documents other than their own research-papers, not only the number of requests grew, but also the number of requests that could not be fulfilled, usually because the person who requested a file typed in the wrong name for that file. Soon these faulty requests were answered with a standard message : Room 404: file not found".
Later, when these processes were automated and people could directly query the database, the messageID's for error messages remained linked to the physical location the process took place: "404: file not found".The room numbers remained in the error codes in the official release of HTTP (Hyper Text Transfer Protocol) when the Web left CERN to conquer the world, and are still displayed when a browser makes a faulty request to a Web server.
In memory of the heroic boys and girls that worked deep into the night for all those months, in those small and hot offices at CERN, Room 404 is preserved as a 'place on the Web'. None of the other rooms are still used for the Web. Room 404 is the only and true monument to the beginning of the Web, a tribute to a place in the past, where the future was shaped.
But it seems that this is just a made up story - a Myth. The 404 Research lab claims that –
"Having visited CERN myself, I can tell you that Room 404 is not on the fourth floor - the CERN office numbering system doesn't work like that - the first digit usually refers to the *building* number (ie. building 4), and the second two to the office number. But, strangely, there is no room "04" in building "4", the offices start at "410" and work upwards - don't ask me why. Sorry to disappoint you all, but there is no Room 404 in CERN - it simply doesn't exist, and certainly hasn't been preserved as "the place where the web began". In fact, there *is* a display about this, including a model of the first NeXT server, but the whole "Room 404" thing is just a myth."
This site links to a site Room 404 which I could not access because true to its name it gave me an Error 404. There is lot of such juicy stuff floating around on the web, which is nothing but misinformation. It is advisable to take such stories with a pinch of salt instead of accepting them on face value.
If possible, the best approach would be to go one step further and do a bit of research on it yourself. While you are on the net, it will just take a few minutes to actually carry out a few searches on Google and Answers.com and find out the truth. Otherwise you run the risk of being fed with lot of misinformation.
How to cross the bridge?
Question :
U2 has a concert that starts in just 17 minutes and all of the band members must all cross a bridge to get there. The four men begin on the same side of the bridge and you must help them to get across to the other side. Due the age of the bridge, only two people can cross at one time. To make matters worse, it is night-time and there is only one torch. The torch is always required when crossing the bridge and the torch must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown, etc. Each band member walks at a different speed and a pair must walk together at the rate of the slower man:
Bono takes 1 minute to cross
Edge takes 2 minutes to cross
Adam takes 5 minutes to cross
Larry takes 10 minutes to cross
For example, if Bono and Larry walk across first, it takes them 10 minutes to cross. If Adam then returns with the torch , a total of 15 minutes will have passed.
There is no trick behind this, it is the simple movement of resources in the appropriate order.
Solution :
Bono and Edge crosses the bridge… 2 mins
Bono comes back 1 min
Adam and Larry crosses 10 mins
Edge comes back 2 mins (this is the tricky one)
Edge and bono crosses 2 mins
=============
Total 17 mins
=============
U2 has a concert that starts in just 17 minutes and all of the band members must all cross a bridge to get there. The four men begin on the same side of the bridge and you must help them to get across to the other side. Due the age of the bridge, only two people can cross at one time. To make matters worse, it is night-time and there is only one torch. The torch is always required when crossing the bridge and the torch must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown, etc. Each band member walks at a different speed and a pair must walk together at the rate of the slower man:
Bono takes 1 minute to cross
Edge takes 2 minutes to cross
Adam takes 5 minutes to cross
Larry takes 10 minutes to cross
For example, if Bono and Larry walk across first, it takes them 10 minutes to cross. If Adam then returns with the torch , a total of 15 minutes will have passed.
There is no trick behind this, it is the simple movement of resources in the appropriate order.
Solution :
Bono and Edge crosses the bridge… 2 mins
Bono comes back 1 min
Adam and Larry crosses 10 mins
Edge comes back 2 mins (this is the tricky one)
Edge and bono crosses 2 mins
=============
Total 17 mins
=============
Pineapple Six Phase Project Progression Law
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic and Hysteria
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Praise and honors for the non-participants
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic and Hysteria
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Praise and honors for the non-participants
Children's letters to God
These are actual letters that kids have written to God. This exercise was done in a Sunday School class and were too cute to miss. Here they are...
# Dear God... Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?
# Dear God... Who draws the lines around the countries?
# Dear God... I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
# Dear God... Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
# Dear God... It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but hope you will not hurt him anyway.
# Dear God... Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
# Dear God... If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer because I hate her.
# Dear God... I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
# Dear God... I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying!
# Dear God... I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
# Dear God... Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best.
# Dear God... If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.
# Dear God... I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.
# Dear God...! I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
# Dear God... Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?
# Dear God... Who draws the lines around the countries?
# Dear God... I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
# Dear God... Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
# Dear God... It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but hope you will not hurt him anyway.
# Dear God... Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
# Dear God... If we come back as something, please don't let me be Jennifer because I hate her.
# Dear God... I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over.
# Dear God... I think about you sometimes, even when I'm not praying!
# Dear God... I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
# Dear God... Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best.
# Dear God... If you watch me in church Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.
# Dear God... I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.
# Dear God...! I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
We Didn't Start The Fire
Listen to the song "We Didn't Start The Fire". As the song progresses more than a hundred pictures flash on your screen one by one with the flow of the song. Great work.
Click on the title to hear the song and see the snaps.
Enjoy!
Click on the title to hear the song and see the snaps.
Enjoy!
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Plant a pint, and you reap a bushel.
Always the law works to give you back more than you give.Anthony Norvell
Author and Astrologer